For quite some time, the Lord’s people have been in a great refining, some would even say, the beginning of a great tribulation. The Lord is judging His church first and, thus, purifying His Bride. This has shaken you to the core and made you doubt, almost every day. You go from moments of terror, in your humanity, to moments of faith, from one minute to the next.
The Lord would say unto you, I have loved you with an everlasting love. I am pleased with you. You have said, I don’t understand how I can despise, even hate, myself so much if you are pleased with me.
He says because you don’t value the same things I do. You value doing and I value being. (I was raised to do for God, to witness, to serve, to evangelize, to write, to sing. My busy-ness became my identity. It became an idol. ) You don’t have to anymore. I love you just the way you are. This season is not about punishment. It’s about reward.
What does that mean, Lord?
It means I trust you with this.
You trust us with what, Lord?
My sufficiency. That I am enough. Only a few can be trusted with this. That I am enough, even if there is nothing else, ever. (I have read the books, and understood, the best I could, this concept but this is a whole other level of understanding and practice. We felt a clear call for my husband to leave his job with nothing else in hand. This download came 8 months later, still unemployed. I had to come to grips with the thought of going bankrupt and being willing to say yes to whatever He asked, if that’s what it took for us to be what He needed us to be.) It is a proof-ing ground. It gives you the flavor of me and there’s no substitute for it. It marks you as mine. It’s unmistakable.
(Go and read this post on what it means to proof dough.)
Are we going to get punched down, Lord?
That’s part of it, yes. To be emptied of self.
What comes after the punch down?
A rebuilding. A refilling of structures. Then bake it in. While you hate the process it is necessary and the end result is good. I love you. All who want to be used by Me must go through this process. Please don’t hate yourself anymore. It grieves me. You are beauty to me, my beauty. You are part of me and to hate you, rejects Me. I have not forgotten you. I know it hurts. It’s ok to grieve. Let Me hold you. Come here (into my presence) often.
Lord, I don’t know how to view this world. Don’t we need to work? (We’d been without work for 8 months.) I’m afraid you’ll curse what I do. (that’s a long story)
You curse what you do if it’s not in the right order.
What does that look like?
(His answers were very personal to me and my personality type. But for an ISTJ Doer, it was *rushing ahead without asking daily, and *hoping for a return from helping people (He called this using people); *treating my spouse like an independent factor and not making sure we were unified on everything; even not trusting his giftings completely in how they related to my life.)
If I share something with you. Share it.
Anyone that will listen.
Go read Jeremiah 31 at Bible Gateway. It’s context and fullness is amazing.
“I love you people with a ·love that will last forever [eternal love].
That is why I have continued showing you ·kindness [loyalty]. EXB
This is adapted from an excerpt from a time with the Lord. This was His download, His answer to my cry.